| Sorry I haven't done much writing in this thing. Been pondering about a switch of blogs, lately it seems no one posts on this thing anymore. While I still write mostly to keep my thoughts in check, I have been debating on making a more public one for other thoughts I have. I've also been working on a secret writing project that I am about to unveil here in the next few weeks. It's a short story I've been working on, loosely based on some things I have gone through. I want my friends to read it and give me some feedback on my writing style, to gauge if it's something they would read more of if I choose to write. I am getting up the courage to try and write a novel, and if I can get a bit of helpful feedback on my style and tone that would be fantastic. Who knows, you could even be mentioned as proofreaders in it! Cool shit, huh?
But yeah, a more public blog would be kind of useless cause no one really gives a fuck what I think right now anyway. Kind of have to be important for others to care about that stuff. I'll probably just keep throwing shit up in this until I get super famous, then vomit a blog for others to fawn and make conjecture over.
The life of an unemployed graduate is lax, but strangely glorious. Gonna pick up steam here soon. Sexy times are coming. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| Well boys and girls, the time has finally come. I've filled all my requirements, and then some, passed my last 2 classes, and I'm going to graduate on Sunday. Ohio State will grant me a glorious sheet of paper that signifies the hard work I've put in these past five years and change. It represents my hours of class and study, homework and heartache, effort and sweat and maybe even a few tears if I'm really honest. It's more than that though, it's a memento of a very formative part of my life. I didn't just learn how to be an engineer in college, I learned how to be a human being. I learned the finer points of making friends, and avoiding said friends after hooking up with their other friends. I perfected ways to bullshit papers on books I never read. I learned that if homework is less than 15% of your total grade, you can pretty much fucking ignore it. I learned the intricacies of using a beer bong, which finally brought to life my fluid dynamics lectures on liquid flow, viscosity, and head (it's a term defining fluids flow, don't question it). I learned a ton of shit I can't even begin to quantify, and in this case it's very true that the whole is more than just the sum of its parts.
It's the end of an era, and while I'll always look back on it with nostalgia, I'm also certain that I'm excited for the future. I'm looking forward to being an adult. To paying bills, making decisions on where my career and life go. I look forward to moving around and seeing this fucking wonderful world we live in, even if it seems that some problems are insurmountable. I'm looking forward to learning something new every single day of my life, regardless of how long I live. Whether I make it to 25 or 95 before kicking off, from school I've inherited a lifelong desire to learn and grow as not just an engineer or an employee, but as a human being. I think it's very important to try and be the best person you possibly can. Make no mistake, I've done a lot of questionable things, I've hurt people, I've made them pissed off at me, I've made them cry, I've made them curse my name. I've lost friends and alienated those closest to me on occasions. I've come off as abrasive, brash, rude, and egomaniacal.
I regret none of it.
Without experiencing one side of the coin, how could I ever appreciate the item as a whole? I've seen people accomplish great things. I've seen people fall in love, fall out of love, fall in and out and back into it. I've seen people begin to realize their potential and apply it in all facets of their lives. I've seen people realize what's really important in life. I've helped people do all of these things too. I'm not an angel by any means, but I know that for all the shitty things I've done, I've also tried to do some nice things at the same time. I'm not perfect, I'll never be and will never be under the guise that I am. I am willing to improve, however, and despite the setbacks I've encountered, I won't ever try to stop. Criticize me if you must, but just know I always started with the best of intentions.
I don't know where I'll end up, or what I'll end up doing. Regardless of whether we hang out tomorrow or never see each other ever again, if I've ever met you, interacted with you, or impacted you in anyway I simultaneously thank you, apologize profusely, and wish you the best of luck in future endeavors. Win forever. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | I passed both my classes. I'm done with college. I'm awesome. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | When I wake up I'm working on my short story. Then when that's finished I'm going to plan my novel. I need something productive to do with my time this December. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Last final exam week for me. I really don't know how to feel about it. I'm glad that I'll be done with this endless shit festival that is engineering undergrad, but then again I will miss all the perks of being a student. Sleeping in. Drinking irresponsibly with little to no consequence. Video games whenever the hell I feel like them. It's truly the end of an era, and while I'm glad to be in transition, I will look back on these formative years with warm nostalgia.
I'm ready to move on to the next phase of my life, though I don't exactly know what that will entail. One would think that it included an engineering job, a decent income, finding a place to live, and then figuring out how to fill the time that I'm not working. I don't want things to be so banal as that description. I feel like I should strive to be more than just my job and my apartment. How exactly to accomplish that has been my greatest challenge these past few weeks, I really have no good leads.
Right now my car is fucked up. The clutch is not fully engaging, so I'm hesitant to drive it anywhere. Going to take it in for service on Wednesday afternoon. Luckily I have the power train warranty, so it should not cost me a dime to fix. Beyond that I'm poor, self-loathing, and utterly bored. I want to unplug from the world for like a week, do some reading, some writing, and work on tying up loose ends. Who knows how that'll go.
My relationships are a jumbled mess of incendiary shit right now. Maybe sorting that out should be a priority. It's better than standing still. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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